33 weeks

Happy Belated Father's Day! I feel kind of bad because I didn't really do anything for Josh this year. I told him I was sorry about that but I think he was secretly happy because he's so cheap he gets mad even when I spend money on gifts for him. He said he just wanted to buy himself a fishing license and that was it. So that's his big present! I also told him I am growing him a present in my belly right now and that is the best Father's Day present of all. :)

But here's the little update. Basically... I think she wants to be born. She is trying to kick her way out of my body every day. Today is Tuesday and starting on probably last Friday I was getting this pain in my lower abdomin. Sometimes it was worse than others and I wondered if it was just normal "practice" contractions or if it was just muscle pain because it wasn't on a regular pattern or anything, but with every day I think it got worse. So I kind of just stuck it out over the weekend and decided to call my doctor's office first thing Monday morning.

They got me in at 10:45 for an ultrasound and I found out that my cervix had thinned from 2 cm down to 7 mm. There was also some major "funneling" again (gotta love that word by now!) So that was not good, but yet I was not surprised given the pain I had been in all weekend. I also had her check the baby's weight: 5 lbs 4 oz! Not bad! That would mean if she would continue to gain at the normal rate of 1/2 pound per week she would be about 9 pounds on my due date. Ouch.

Then I went in to see the nurse practitioner. Unfortunately, my doctor was in a different office that day so I couldn't talk to her. I spent about 20 minutes arguing with this lady about why I think the stitches in my cervixe need to come out because I think that is what's causing the pain while my cervix is still thinning and trying to pull against it. Also, in my opinion, taking the stitches out does not necessarily even mean I would go into labor. With Caleb I was dialated to 3 cm (right now I am not dialated at all, just thinned to 7 mm) but I still waited 2 more weeks to go into labor. She told me that chances are, it would start labor, and that a 33 week baby would probably still need to spend 7 weeks in the NICU and basically made me feel bad for thinking of putting my own pain above the needs of my baby. Josh said later that he thought he was going to have to come between us at one point so we didn't hurt eachother. But ULTIMATELY (Stacey has met this lady and calls her the ULTIMATELY lady because she starts every sentence that way...) she told me that they weren't going to take the stitches out of my cervix until at least 36 weeks no matter what.

I resisted the urge to not call her the B- word as we left the building... which was lucky because she was outside making a phone call as we passed her on the way to our car.

Like, on the one hand, I can understand her opinion. Yes, it is important to get your baby as far as possible in utero. But at the same time, 33 weeks and over 5 pounds is not a tragically scary preemie. Gabe was 29 weeks and weighed 3 and a half pounds and spent 6 weeks in the NICU. That is why I kind of rolled my eyes when she said that whole 7 weeks thing to me. Then she was like, "I worked in labor and delivery for 10 years I know what I'm talking about." I was like, "Wow, good for you lady." I know it is possible, but I also know it is not likely. They also gave me these magic steroid shots at 27 weeks that were supposed to rapidly develop the babay's lungs in case of an early delivery.

So anyways.... ULTIMATELY I ended up calling my doctor on her cell phone later that day (which the nurse lady told me I could do, "But she's not going to tell you anything different..." thanks!) and Dr. Huggins said she wanted to schedule me to see a perinatologist today and get a second opinion on everything. I take this as a positive step because a perinatologist is more specialized in high-risk pregnancies and early babies and I am hoping maybe he/she will agree to take my stitches out soon.

It's not that I want a baby born at 33 weeks. No one does. But I feel like I am laying here in bed, in pain when I just roll over from one side to the other, in even MORE pain when I have to stand up or go to the bathroom, and something is just not right with these stitches inside of me. There are times when she just kicks like a normal baby does and I feel like I have to grab the bed and tense up in pain because it sends such an instant sharp shooting pain through my down-there area that I feel like I need to scream! That is not normal baby kick feelings. I'm worried the pain is only going to get worse if the stitches don't come out because my body still seems to want to contract and dialate regardless of what it has to pull on or tear out in the process. I am pretty much wishing I wouldn't have gotten these stitches in the first place. They didn't keep me from bedrest, they are causing me pain, and now I feel like I am going to have to take a knitting needle and get them out myself because no one else will due to the possible risk to the baby!

So, does that make me a selfish mom? I hope not. But we'll see what the perinatoligist says. If they don't take them out soon they better give me some dang good drugs that are waaaay better than Tylenol extra strength. Otherwise I may die.